


stirner's theory of the self

by penroseacademy



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, M/M, POV Second Person, Redemption, Speculative Fanfiction, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, philosophical concepts, which morphs into
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:41:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21898336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penroseacademy/pseuds/penroseacademy
Summary: Deceit is doing what's best for Thomas, really. Out of any of the sides, Virgil should understand where he's coming from, so why do they keep butting heads?___Longer summary inside.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 28





	stirner's theory of the self

**Author's Note:**

> I love Sanders Sides and I have a lot of theories. I thought I could just write all those theories out into one big lengthy tumblr post, but instead I decided to flex my creative muscles and try to write some speculative fanfiction. Basically, I already have the plot of the fic in mind, since it's just how I think that Deceit's redemption arc will go.
> 
> The romantic ships will be prinxiety and logicality, but the relationship that is most central is the bitchy exes virgil and deceit dynamic. 
> 
> I wanted to write it from Deceit's perspective, which means that I had to take some liberties with his dialogue. He lies a lot, especially to himself without knowing it, but I couldn't make every line of internal dialogue be him directly lying (the way he does at the end of Can Lying be good) or the fic would become literally unreadable. I hope you enjoy!

Your name is Deceit. 

Well, no, it isn’t.

Deceit doesn’t really fit you _that_ well. It’s a name that was prescribed to you, not the one you’d choose for yourself. Sure, you’re a liar, but that’s a symptom of a completely different cause. It’s not like you’re doing it for shits and giggles. 

(You think back to that time you sent Roman off on a fake quest by telling him you had seen a lost pegasus running around in his fairytale mind palace, just for the amusement of knowing that he’s too daft to realize it was a lie until a good nine days of searching.

….

It’s not ENTIRELY for shits and giggles.)

The ironic part is that you’re only like this because you understand the Truth. You know that people are selfish, evil, and only look out for themselves. You’ve seen enough stories about it on the news. People lie, they cheat, they steal, because at the end of the day, when pushed to their limits, people will always choose themselves over others. 

And the proof is in the pudding. The fact that you exist is proof enough that people are selfish, because that’s what you are. You aren’t Deceit, no.

You’re Thomas’ self-preservation. 

You’ve earned the title of Deceit because you’re the only side that’s not _utterly_ braindead enough to buy into that whole, Kum Ba Yah, let’s dance around a fire and roast marshmallows, isn’t the world great, let’s go have sex with a rainbow while singing the Best Day Ever song from Spongebob, mindset. You know the truth about the world, that it’s hard, and cruel, and unforgiving, and you seem to be the only side of him that is willing to take the necessary measures in order to keep him ahead in the world.

(This, conceptually, should be a simple task. Thomas is a smart person, he has a lot of opportunities in life that would be incredibly easy to take advantage of. When taking into account Morality’s boundless optimism and love for everything that’s “good” in the world, alongside Creativity’s complete lack of foresight, rationality, or even the commonest of sense, your job gets much, much harder. You swear, even though he represents everything you’re against, Logan is the only one of those idiots that you can stand. In small doses.) 

The other sides are so clueless that if you let them run free, Thomas'd be living in a ditch after giving up his house to a commune of homeless hooligans that he felt bad for and decided deserved it more than him. Or he’d be doing some other stupid thing, like wasting away at the local “library” reading “books” to “children” in order to make them “happy”. 

There’s basically an endless amount of possibilities you have to steer Thomas away from in order to stop him from pathetic self-sabotage. The other sides are basically a bunch of toddlers, and you’re their underpaid, overworked boss.

You’re currently sitting in your own room, (which is impeccably furnished, by the by, all done by your's truly. You have a lavish black and yellow Bergère armchair, a statue of the greek goddess Themis with a silk blindfold covering her eyes, and a limited edition snakeskin beanie baby, which doesn't really add to the whole ambiance you're going for, but you think it's neat) when you feel the familiar seeds of discord(?) beginning to brew in mindscape. Right, he missed Joan’s little… social gathering make believe, thing. 

You can already feel the stress headache from having to argue with those idiots directly. Man, Thomas is glad you love him.

* * *

You didn’t always use to be the only person looking out for Thomas. There used to be another person who understood that Thomas needed to be protected from his whims. 

(You aren’t counting Remus. He’s more of a stupid oaf that isn’t interested in anything but causing trouble. Sure, it can be entertaining, but he has the mental capability of an infant with neglectful parents who accidentally got addicted to huffing deodorant. He’s not exactly partner-in-crime material.)

After a certain someone left, you usually just use Remus as a sounding board for your ideas, your plots, and your schemes (which, as you’ve already established, may seen nefarious, but really are in Thomas’ best interest) and your plans for dark side poker and mimosa nights. 

If Remus were here, he’d remind you that he’s also good for listening to your “unhinged rants” about how “upset” you “are” that Virgil was corrupted by the light sides, but you’ve known Remus all your life, and you’ve become very good at blocking out his ridiculous intrusions, since you know that they _do not have any basis in reality_. 

You don’t really care that Virgil has left the dark sides. In fact, it had been your idea to begin with. You both agreed that letting Thomas run amuck only getting input from his goody-two-shoes sides would end in disaster, but that Anxiety would have more sway over Thomas’ emotions than Deceit would. You both decided that it would be best for you to take a back seat. It was about time Anxiety pulled his weight on the surface, anyways.

So you’re not UPSET, you are simply annoyed that you lost a pawn. Whatever, it’s not that big of a difference than how you were operating before (because, _honestly_ , it wasn’t like he was doing much when he was hiding out on the dark side, aside from giving Thomas mild worries about leaving his car unlocked or if he was going to die of cyanide poisoning from eating almonds. He’s useful, he used to understand where you were coming from, but you were more of the big picture guy.) 

This really is the sort of thing Virgil should have handled, before he went soft. He would have told Thomas that he needs to prioritize meeting his potential soulmate if he didn’t want to die alone. Instead he’s working himself into a tizzy over something as trivial as Joan calling him an F-Word face. 

Normally, you’d let the sides fight this kind of thing out on their own. It’s not like the guy was really that interesting, anyways. But after losing Virgil to the good sides, a dangerous precedent has been set. The other sides are “accepting” of him, which is odd. You understand that Thomas would be dumb enough to think that “Anxiety can be good,” but the other sides know that Virgil used to be a dark side. Even if Roman and Patton are sentimental idiots, why is Logan alright with Virgil joining their little tea party? They even gave him a Christmas sweater, for god’s sake. 

It would be fine for Virgil to infiltrate the group. That was your plan in the first place. But he’s actively working against you at this point, and you can feel Thomas becoming less likely to listen to your influence. You’ve decided to nip it in the bud, before he goes past the point of no return and stops listening to you altogether.

You wonder who you should show up as- you imagine that Thomas would be unlikely to listen to somebody he calls “deceit”. Logan has a lot of sway over Thomas’ decision making, but you like to think he’s a reasonable man who would also come to the correct conclusion, as long as he was presented with the right evidence. Roman was an idiot, so there would be no point in impersonating him. Patton was the most likely to have an issue with skipping Joan’s whole “public play pretend” thing, so he’s the best candidate. 

You change into your disguise. Pretty good, you’d say. 

You hear a voice from the awareness yelling. “UP UNTIL I MESSED EVERYTHING UP!”

Right, there’s your cue. You pop in.

“Why, what happened?” 

* * *

Virgil has really become SO annoying. He’s literally the only person that’s arguing that Thomas shouldn’t lie in this situation, where he has literally _nothing to lose_ by lying. You hate to agree with Roman of all people, but it really is the best of both worlds.

He’s anxiety, shouldn’t he be anxious about Joan dumping him if he finds out the truth? Shouldn’t he WANT to lie?

You don’t know what is up with that kid. It’s like he holds a grudge against you personally, or something. You can tell he knows something is up right from the start, but it’s not like he can say anything about it without your permission, so you keep plowing on. 

* * *

At the mind palace theater, you’re the director, because allowing someone as daft as Roman to be both the writer and actor was already straining your belief in him. Not to mention, It would be easier to get Thomas to see things correctly this way. (Also, you look really cute in your director costume.)

You try your best, you really do. Roman may not be giving you acting gold, but at least he’s doing his job. Logan is helping too, in his little nerd way, but no matter what scenario you throw at him, Thomas still isn’t receptive to your big ideas. The play ends in a fiasco, naturally. You’re not sure what you expected. 

* * *

You know you’re losing ground here. None of the sides are listening to you anymore, and Thomas seems to be shutting you out, so you need backup. 

He may be one of the worst lackeys you’ve ever had (which is saying something considering his only competition is Remus, who showers using Mountain Dew, and even then he can’t be bothered to shower more than once a month), but maybe you can get him to realize he’s acting crazy. “Virgil! It’s _me_! Aren’t we friends?” 

“I’m not so sure we are.” 

Great. He thinks you’re pretending to be Patton. He can’t even tell when you’re speaking directly to him. Utterly useless. You turn to the source.

“Thomas, I know this sounds backwards, but sometimes, lying is good! In this situation, it is the right thing to do, PERIOD.”

“Patton, no,” Thomas says. He’s SO frustrating. 

“ **YES!** ” 

But you’ve lost him. He’s made up his mind. You can’t believe even without Patton’s physical presence, he still holds so much sway over Thomas. (Maybe it’s the fact that they’re both Hufflepuffs? You didn’t take much stock in the whole sorting house thing, since it seemed like more of Thomas’ pointless fantasy LARPing, but maybe there was more power to this mysterious “Harry Potter” than you thought. You would have to investigate.)

In a way that isn’t petty in the slightest, nor just for your own amusement, you try to convince Thomas that he has no morality before Patton predictably blows your cover. 

You seriously hate that guy.

**Author's Note:**

> Just as a fair warning, I'm only publishing this because as I am one with Roman, I also love attention. I should probably wait until I have the whole thing finished to post it, but I don't have that much willpower. So things about this chapter may be changed if I notice any glaring plot holes as I get into later videos.


End file.
